Do you think that it is impossible to please absolutely everyone and everyone? You are wrong: this can be done in just 60 seconds. The advice of experienced psychologists and experts in the field of communication will make you believe in miracles.
If you follow the simple tips described below, then people will want to communicate with you and be with you constantly. A few tens of seconds will be enough for a person to understand that in front of him is not a simple personality, but a unique person who infects with positive. This skill is useful in love, in business and just for life.
Tip one: make people laugh
You don’t have to be jesters that annoy everyone. There are many ways to make you laugh. If you want, then this rule can be simplified a little - be funny and funny. People are drawn to positive much more than to negative. This is obvious, therefore this rule should always be kept in mind first. How to make people feel your positive energy and relax? Here are the basic tricks.
Joke, belittling yourself. It is clear that you do not need to do this all the time. Only occasionally show people that you are not a narcissistic narcissist with an incredibly high self-esteem. In the first minute of communication, you can say something like: “Do not pay attention to the fact that I look so bad today, this is normal.” You did not call yourself a freak or some other bad word, you just showed that you know how to be self-critical. This helps a lot to attract people, because narcissistic people rarely like anyone. Your simplicity will help you in attracting attention.
Interpret other people's words positively. This must be done only in a positive way, without belittling the dignity of others. If you are told something, then you can make the phrase more positive by changing its meaning. The ability to translate any conversation in a positive way is an excellent ability. First, you yourself will be happier. Secondly, you can make happier than others. If you are criticized for something, you can joke. For example, they tell you: "You look terrible today." You can answer this as follows: "But you noticed me." In this case, you must follow the rule of smiles and positive tone. What matters is not what you say, but how you say it. Do not take everything away in a negative direction. If you learn to translate everything as a joke, then you will become the soul of any company in a minute. Remember only that all the tips must be taken correctly - you don’t need to translate absolutely every other person’s phrase in jest, because this, on the contrary, will push people away. Balance is what matters.
Entertain yourself and not others. The ultimate goal is to help yourself, not others. In this regard, selfishness will even help you. Think about what can make you happier. When you do something that can help you laugh, it will make others laugh. Remember the important thing: a jester or a clown person is someone who is constantly joking, but insincere. If you show your sincerity, then you will not be considered a clown or a jester. The second tip follows from this.
Tip two: don't be afraid of your flaws
I mean, don't be afraid to show them. Take the example of Hollywood stars or world-class musicians. Their image looks impeccable, but in life these people have their drawbacks, which are removed in the photo or retouched by psychologists who help create the image. They are not real. They are other people whom they forced to make of themselves. They know that. You know that, everyone knows. That is why they can be admired, but they will never succeed in becoming very attractive to all people. These people do not want to reach out because they are perfect. Automatically and subconsciously, we always reach out to those who belittle themselves, talking about their shortcomings, and are not afraid to show them. The awkward moments in life always happen through your own fault. You are afraid to admit something. For example, if you want to meet someone, come up, and then you begin to stammer through every word and get nervous. If you come up and say, “Damn it. I don’t know what to tell you, but I like you, so let's get acquainted. ” This is just a bomb! This will make a person such an impression that he will collapse in surprise.
You can pretend that during the first meeting with a person you are not nervous and do not experience any emotions. For example, you came for an interview with a large company to get the place you dreamed about. You will be nervous, but it is absolutely normal. If you hide it, everyone will know about it anyway, but you can honestly say: “Oh my God, I'm so nervous, now I’ll faint.” You did not say anything bad, you ridiculed yourself, there is nothing shameful in this. On the contrary, it is respected.
Don't pretend to be perfect in the first seconds of communication. You are afraid of rejection, therefore, if you experience negative emotions, then try to hide them and show how cool you are. Be more open in those aspects in which you have problems, then people will be drawn to you right away. Experiment, it's a powerful thing.
The advice of psychologists should not be ignored. These two most important and valuable tips will help you transform yourself beyond recognition, and then transform your life beyond recognition. If you adhere to the rules described, then within the first minute of communication with anyone, you will be able to gain his or her trust and show yourself from the best side. Do not go overboard with jokes at first, because if you have trouble with humor, it will look awful. Learn everything gradually, watch speeches and interviews with comedians who use such tricks. Good luck and don’t forget to click on the buttons and
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More often call an interlocutor by name
Recall Carnegie, who wrote the following: "The name of a person is the sweetest and most important sound for him in any language." If you did not hear the name of the interlocutor - do not be shy to ask again. If this is a telephone conversation - write down his name so as not to accidentally forget. The fact is that when you use any substitutes for names, even affectionate or respectful, the interlocutor suspects that you simply forgot his name. And you really can forget it, so it's better to play it safe. If it’s not possible to write down the name of a new acquaintance, use the simplest mnemonic tricks: you probably already have a friend with the same name (and if not, then some celebrity’s name is exactly that), and all you need to do is remember him during a conversation. Things are more complicated with rare and foreign names, but here mnemonics will help you: quickly think up the simplest rhyme, even if absolutely crazy, in the spirit of “Li Zhenfan flies to Kazan” - and you are guaranteed to remember this name later.
Make a mistake
Oddly enough, the easiest way to win over any person is to make a mistake and let him correct you. Usually we do exactly the opposite: we try in no case to prevent a mistake, and if we do, we try to pretend that nothing of the kind happened. And thus we force everyone around us to pretend that they did not notice anything. At this moment, others feel extremely awkward, they do not want to continue acquaintance.
But if you make a mistake and let the person correct you, you kill three birds with one stone. Firstly, he feels more confident, because this situation flatters his pride, secondly, he can communicate with you more freely, and thirdly, he is not afraid to make a mistake with you.
Praised third party interlocutor
Sometimes it’s embarrassing to give a direct compliment simply because there is no good reason. In addition, I want the compliment to not be on duty, because the trivial “You look beautiful today” will not attract anyone to you. What to do? Give compliments, but from a third party.
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For example, like this: "Maria Ivanovna, Vasily Petrovich told me that you are the best doctor in our city." It doesn’t matter if Vasily Petrovich said this, and it doesn’t matter who he is. The main thing is that this character (quite likely, generally invented) Maria Ivanovna frankly flattered. Frankly flattering the interlocutor is not good, it seems, but it’s not you - this is Vasily Petrovich. But they will remember you as a pleasant person, and not this Vasily himself.
Reflect the interlocutor's pose
But be careful. So that it does not seem to him that you are mimicking it. If your interlocutor sits with his hands folded on the table, you should also put your hands on the table, but in a slightly different way. If he supports his head with his hand, you can straighten his hair, remove the strand by the ear or touch his chin. It works very simply: the pose reflects our internal state, and we perfectly read body language, we simply do not realize this report. And if you mirror the pose, this is a sign: you feel the same as your new friend. And we are always pleased to communicate with those who experience the same sensations as we do.
It is clear that people are most interested in their own person. If you find it difficult to empathize with a person you don’t know anything about, you should listen more carefully to him: in fact, we constantly complain. On bad weather, on road traffic, on poor health and on the behavior of others. The drowsiness and lack of coffee, after all. It's just that it’s not customary to focus attention on this, these are words spoken in the void, words that occupy awkward pauses. It is assumed that you simply agree with them. And you do not just agree, but sympathize. Of course, one should not rush to a person with comforts - the reason is not the same. But say something in the spirit of "As I understand you! You had a difficult day, it will end soon, hold on ”will not hurt.
Make the interlocutor praise himself
This is elementary, but it always works. Everyone loves to brag about their achievements, and all you have to do is to exclaim in time: “Wow! You must have the iron will to do this! ”It doesn’t matter what it is all about: work, a hobby or weight loss. Most likely, the interlocutor will answer you with something in the spirit: “Come on, nothing special,” but he will think to himself: “Wow, well done!” That's it.
Ask for a favor
It seems to us that we can win over a person by rendering him some kind of minor service. It works, but not always: if you help a person in an awkward situation, he can avoid further communication simply because it is unpleasant for him to remember his “shame”. But acting as a savior is a completely different matter. President Franklin once said: "The one who once did good to you is more likely to help you again than the one to whom you yourself helped." This phenomenon is known as the Benjamin Franklin effect. A person who courtesy of another grows up in his own eyes, which means that he is always ready to continue communication, because it reminds him of how wonderful, trouble-free and generally hero. The main thing is not to abuse this method, because no one loves petty beggars, of course.
How to like other people
And now the time of the question that worried any of us in a given situation. How do people like it? Be it a guy / girl, boss, friend, business partner, client, customer, exam teacher, etc. We all want to please someone almost every day, and this is natural. It is as natural as the fact that we like or dislike someone.
Have you ever met a man who sympathized with you, but you could not understand why exactly you like him so much? Congratulations, you are lucky to meet a charismatic personality. There are not so many of them, but they always have something to learn.
I'll tell you about a few secrets of such people. Of course, all these secrets cannot be instilled in yourself, but something from the list will surely succeed - and then you will get +1 to charm.
- Appearance. (Not everyone in our editorial office agrees with this point. But I am writing this article, so I will express my position and the result of my observations). People with pronounced appearance features (image style of subcultures: black lips, tattoos in the whole body, etc.) deprive themselves of charm and desire to communicate with them. The same applies to untidy people who clog in their appearance (often typical of men). Well, not drawn to get acquainted with such. The most important thing to learn from this point: Do not neglect your appearance, with proper use, appearance is also a great tool to influence people.
- Grammatically correct speech - this is what you need and it’s important to work all your life. Many do not even realize what a huge advantage people have who are able to speak competently and beautifully. The impression of such a person is completely different than that of someone who cannot express his thoughts and uses simplified speech turns.
- Good mood - playing a pensive guy or a romantic girl is not an option. The melancholy mood attracts a minimum number of people (mainly practicing psychologists), and normal people always like positive and smiling people. Have you noticed how many friends always have fun people? Here is a reason for you to think.
- Take an interest in the interlocutor - well, Carnegie’s grandfather told us about this as a secret of mastery in the “institution of friends”. Sincere interest in communication - like a balm for the soul for the interlocutor. What is worth using: clarifying questions, expressing your thoughts on the topic asked by the interlocutor, and emotional reactions to the speaker's words. All this hints to the object that you are not a stale cracker, but an interested person. And with such a pleasure to deal with.
- Less ponte - more modesty - yes, of course, boasting and cheating can make an impression on a separate circle of people, but if your interlocutor is a smart person - it is unlikely that this will amaze his imagination. But a modest person, not trembling about himself, often causes curiosity among the interlocutor.
- No need to try to seem better than you are - this leads to unnatural behavior and, as a result, people feel false and trust you less, they simply like you less.
That's all the secrets of how people like it. Not so original, but working. But main secret universal sympathy lies in the fact that you need to be a developed and interesting person who thinks and knows how to analyze. This is how our site - Realist 🙂 will help you become