As soon as the relationship reaches a new serious level, young people will need to familiarize their second half with their parents. And if the girls in this matter are easier, it is enough to be sweet, polite and charming, then a much larger list of requirements is put forward for the guy. Therefore, it is important to think in advance how to get acquainted with the girl’s parents in order to make a good impression.
Despite the outward poise and calmness, any man experiences wild excitement, embarrassment and even fear before meeting his parents with his girlfriend. This is due to the desire to like and make a worthy impression of yourself. Psychologists suggest phasing out an acquaintance, preparing topics for conversation, and also choosing tactics and strategies, how to behave when meeting.
How to make a good first impression
Only if the man is worried about how to please the girl’s parents when he has serious intentions towards her. There are several rules of behavior developed by specialists, due to the implementation of which you can make a good impression without making any mistakes and misconduct. Namely:
- Punctuality. It will be possible to show respect for the girl and her family by appearing at the meeting place in a timely manner without delay. In order not to be forgotten in troubles and affairs, it is better to put a reminder on your mobile gadget. If a man will get in his car, it is better to leave in advance in case of traffic jams. It’s also not worth it to come to the parents ’house early to give the owners the opportunity to prepare. You can come in advance if the meeting is in a restaurant, and the man can prepare a table and meet his parents.
- Greeting. In advance, the girl can ask how they usually greet each other in her family, perhaps there are some traditions and preferences. Parents can be greeted with a handshake, a hug, a kiss and a cheek or a bow. Father needs to shake hands without much effort, but relatively firmly. If the man is not sure of the correct choice of a greeting option, it is possible to give initiative to parents.
- Appeal. Initially, parents should be addressed by name and patronymic, showing respect and reverence. If they ask to call them only by name, then you can not use middle names.
- Behavior of a guy with a girl. When parents need to be neutral, not to be too distant from their chosen one, but not to go beyond what is permitted, showing feelings and affection. It is permissible to hug the girl slightly, hold her hand, but without kisses and excessive tactility.
- Posture and eye contact. To show yourself as a strong and confident man, you need to keep your posture, not to stoop. Also, a man must withstand eye contact during a conversation, only occasionally looking away. If you are overcome by shyness and excitement, you need to take a couple of deep sighs.
- Phone. In order not to be distracted by extraneous chores and affairs, a man needs to turn off the phone to demonstrate interest exclusively at the meeting. If they can call for work, the man needs to be warned about this, apologize.
- Table behavior. The main indicator of a well-mannered man is his good manners. At the table you need to eat slowly, do not slurp, do not abuse alcohol. If parents themselves organized a table, a man must definitely try all the dishes so as not to offend the hostess. At the end of the dinner, you can offer help with dishes, and in the restaurant the man takes all the expenses.
Particular attention should be paid to your behavior if the man is visiting. You can say meritorious words about the house or apartment of the girl’s parents, specify the place where you will need to take off his shoes. You should never come to the house as a guest empty-handed.
How to like mom girls?
Particular attention should be paid to the man on the question of how to like the mother of her chosen one, as she will become a loyal adviser to the girl, which means that she can influence relations.
Long before meeting the future mother-in-law, you can give her small presents, sweets, desserts, and various trinkets. When a man decided to meet his beloved mother, appearing on the doorstep of the house should not be empty-handed.
How to like a girl’s father?
But it will be much more difficult for the father to please, since men with special attention come to the choice of the future spouse for the daughter. In addition, the father is most often strict and demanding, so a man needs to make a good impression about himself. As soon as a man came into the house to meet the girl’s father, he should introduce himself and shake his hand tightly.
In the future, you need to contact him by name and patronymic, to maintain self-confidence and calm. In the presence of the father, it is better to abandon excessive touches and manifestations of feelings towards the girl. In order for the father to understand that he is giving the girl in decent hands, the man needs to talk about his kind of activity, goals for the future and plans for a joint future with the chosen one.
How to keep up the conversation?
A separate question is how to communicate with the girl’s parents, since many men, because of constraint and excitement, cannot gather their thoughts, they talk incoherently or completely remain silent. In order for the conversation to learn to be relaxed, complete, informative and memorable, you need to follow several rules and recommendations of psychologists, namely:
- Common topics. You can discuss neutral topics, the latest movie news, football, weather, other interests and hobbies.
- Open questions. Thanks to deep questions in the direction of parents, you can show interest in the family of your chosen one. You can find out from parents their place of study, work, interesting cases from life.
- Funny stories from a girl’s childhood. This topic will make the conversation relaxed, touching and entertaining, you can view children's photos.
The main thing is that the first meeting does not touch upon serious and global topics that can ruin a cheerful mood and burden interlocutors. Forbidden topics - politics, religion, nationalism and racism. If a man does not agree at some point with the opinion of his parents, do not enter into an argument, it will be smarter to just keep silent.
How to prepare for the meeting?
In order for the meeting to be productive and inclusive, the man needs to think through the main points and main questions in advance. Psychologists advise making a list of important points, which will include the following points:
- you need to know the full names of the parents in advance,
- the girl can clarify the basic data about the parents (study, work, place of birth, priorities and principles),
- if the meeting takes place in the man’s house, you need to clean up
- in advance it will be necessary to prepare clothes and shoes for the meeting, make a haircut, shave to look perfect,
- in order to win over parents, you need to choose a gift in advance, it can be a bouquet of flowers and a bottle of good wine.
Previously, a man needs to prepare for possible issues in order to be fully armed. Most likely, they will be interested in a man’s plans for a girl, his lifestyle, sphere of activity, interests, goals in life, dreams. The main emphasis in the conversation should be done precisely at these points in order to be understandable and transparent enough for her parents.
And in order for the conversation to be easy, the man needs to show a sense of humor and his versatility. The main thing is that the manifestation of humor was direct, witty, without vulgarity and jokes below the waist. If a man has bad habits, it is better to remain silent about them. The best option is funny stories from your life or living together with a girl.
No wonder they say that no one will have a second chance to make a first impression. Therefore, it is extremely important for a man to prepare in advance for a meeting with the girl's parents in order to prevent possible mistakes and embarrassing situations. Next, you need to consider the circumstances for the meeting (in a restaurant, at home with a man or a girl’s parents). According to them, you need to think about how best to spend time with parents, what to communicate with them, how to show yourself from the best side.
You may be an energetic person. Or you get nervous and let the nervousness splash out. And then I just drank it. Be that as it may, do not be overly active. Do not rush first to shake hands with your parents or say from the doorway: “Yeah, and here is the famous Peter Alekseich! Heard, Heard! How's your sciatica going? Take care of him, drive to the cinema? Ha ha ha. "
And how then?
Calmly wait until you reach out your hand, and only then shake it with moderate enthusiasm. Answer questions politely, but not too broadly.
Variety of small talk
Some at the first bouts of panic (a healthy reaction to getting to know parents and, as a result, good chances to part with a free bachelor life) begin to exaggerate secular topics. “The weather today is not very. Cold, partly cloudy. Precipitation is lower than normal, with a pressure of approximately 749 millimeters of mercury. If you compare this mercury column with what it was in November last year. "
And how then?
Believe those around you, it’s just as boring to listen to this as telling you. Therefore, do not delve into safe topics. Better ask where the souvenir mask came from, which fell on your head when you sat on the sofa.
You just read Navalny’s next accusatory article, and emotions like indignation, indignation and anger break from your opposition chest. And here you are horrified to notice that a portrait of the president is hanging over the souvenir mask on the wall of your girlfriend’s parents. How so ?! After all, their daughter knitted a scarf for you so that you would not catch a cold by attending meetings with her!
And how then?
Try to skip the portrait past your eyes. You don’t need any argument. Do you think these people were just waiting for an unknown man to appear on the threshold and convince them of something? Hardly. But spoiling the relationship with a heated argument is very easy. Be patient. If you stay with a girl, you will have years ahead to try to change the views of her family. Well, or to quarrel with them completely.
Do not volunteer to help
“Pyotr Alekseyich, you say your carburetor is broken? Amazing I just have Vadik from a car service, which will repair the carburetor in two ways. No problem. I'm calling Vadik right now! ”
And how then?
Do not call Vadik. And do not go under the hood yourself. And do not recommend a bank issuing a loan at the lowest interest rate (even if you work in it yourself). You don’t know if you will be able to help, whether Vadik will be sober and whether the bank will be closed tomorrow (maybe they just don’t tell you). The first acquaintance was invented in order to take a closer look at each other, and not at all to get involved in common affairs, which do not know what will end.