None of us are perfect, any person sometimes makes mistakes. There is nothing wrong with this, but there are other situations. Some people make mistakes very often, they spoil their reputation. Losing good reviews about yourself is easy, but getting them back is very difficult.
A poor level of reputation spoils relationships with even the closest people, not to mention ordinary acquaintances. If it came to collective communication at work, then this is already a critical situation. Typically, such people face dismissal or demotion.
Reputation is a very fragile asset
A good reputation needs reliable protection. It affects the success of a person in career growth and his self-esteem. Each of us wants to achieve maximum respect from others, becoming for them a valuable person. If you only dream about it, then it is unlikely that the result will please, you need to act.
It takes many years to build a positive reputation, and you can destroy it in an instant. You will almost always be forgiven for a couple of mistakes, but nobody will regularly turn a blind eye to them. There are 3 features that create a person’s reputation, this is the behavior, character and perception of other people.
The first two can not be explained, but with the third point you need to understand in more detail. Most people find it very difficult to look at themselves from the side. It seems that you haven’t done anything wrong, but people continue to be offended and quarrel.
The second thing you cannot influence is rumors. A person can communicate with everyone in an ideal way, but there is always someone who will humiliate him behind his back in front of other people. Such cases also pretty much spoil the reputation.
Don't lie to yourself
Wean yourself from defensive reactions and the desire to accuse a person of what he did not. Evaluate everything that happens with a sober and calm look, not listening to emotions. Ask yourself a few questions:
“What have I done and have not done?”
- Am I really not to blame for many situations or just defending myself?
- Why do people react poorly to your behavior?
No problem can be solved without knowing the reason. The same thing with the restoration of reputation. For example, if others consider you a liar, then try to understand what pushes you to such actions. Talk about it with your best friend. Yes, maybe this is not a very pleasant conversation, but the effect of it is really good. This will let people know that you want to change. Some will even want to help you. You should tell everyone the following:
“I admit my mistakes.”
“Try to explain why you decided to do this.”
- Do not hide anything, be as open as possible.
You need to make every effort to eliminate damage from an event that has ruined your reputation. A completely different person could be to blame for this, but you should not think about it, people have already concluded. You will have to work very well, but do not despair.
Set a goal. Write on a piece of paper what attitude you want from everyone around you and re-read it every day. Each person from your friends and relatives should see with your own eyes how you are changing for the better. All these changes must be combined with your life priorities, otherwise nothing will work. It may change, but after a while you will return to your previous behavior, because the new will not be comfortable.
You must believe in yourself as no one does. Bad reputation greatly suppresses a person, which means you need to stock up on the strength of the spirit. Replace all bad thoughts and deeds with good ones.
Send everything to the past
You cannot return to your mistake when you want to make amends. Promise yourself never to repeat this, then it will turn out to change forever. Without a good reputation, you cannot succeed in family life or career, so cherish it.
On the way to restoration of a lost reputation you will find a lot of negativity and obstacles, but it's worth it, it is a fact! Try to be as resistant to stress and emotions as possible, then it will be much easier to restore a reputation. Good luck with your work on yourself!
Part 1. Pull yourself together, analyze errors
The first thing to start with is calm down. You can immediately roar, shout, get angry with the whole world, let out ardor, as you like. Getting rid of a bunch of negative emotions is the best start on the path to healing, because this lump will only grow if you leave it to yourself. He will constantly press and interfere with sound actions. It is robust! That is why you need to calm down first and foremost, because in the heat of the moment you can do such things that it will suck in this or neighboring dirt at the very top. I should think, how to restore a tarnished reputation.
You can “turn on the switchman” and shift your blame to a confluence of circumstances, a black cat, Mars in Aquarius or a very real person, simply because he was at the wrong time, in the wrong place and fell under a hot hand. It’s ugly with a man, of course, but then we will apologize to him and admit that we are wrong. This will help for a while, but only for complacency, because in the eyes of others it will look like a banal excuse and inability to admit one’s mistakes. Therefore, you decide to resort to this or not. Although, it seems to me, the “switchmen” are in the blood of every Slav, and the search for the guilty outside their own person is included automatically.
It would be nice to immediately get distracted. Moreover, any machine exercises in which brain activity is not required are immediately swept away. Otherwise, bad thoughts simply will not give rest, further exacerbating the situation. We switch to a type of activity that is not connected in any way or hint and does not resemble an oversight. Someone will exclaim, how can one think of something “left” when there is such a problem ?! Yes, not what you can, you need! It is imperative that you bring yourself into a state where you can adequately look at what has happened and analyze this situation not on emotions, but on a sober situation. And now, when you can calmly, without shaking lips, sweating palms, welling tears and setting heart, think and talk about your mistake, you can proceed to the next stage of reputation restoration.
The analysis of what happened should be like a mathematical problem in elementary school: according to actions, with questions and explanations, verification work and work on mistakes. Just do not need any subjunctive moods - if only the train left, if only there was nothing to wave fists at. We look only at a specific problem and its solution, find errors, recognize our role in this and draw conclusions. And do not confuse the word "conclusion" with reproach, self-flagellation, remorse and returning to a hysterical state. Believe me, it will not be easier for anyone, much less for you. Conclusion - this means to understand, reel on the mustache and try not to do this anymore.
Meanwhile, it is necessary to come to the understanding that any experience, even bitter, still remains experience. It is said that smart people do not learn from their mistakes, although on the other hand, only those who do nothing are not mistaken. Well, since they started talking in wise phrases, then again: everything that does not kill us makes us stronger. So, we accept what happened as a shake-up, like a magic pendell to action. So, we are aware of our mistake, accept it and forgive ourselves! And there is still a lot of work ahead of us ...
Part 2. Laundering a reputation, restoring lost trust
Recognizing your mistake, understanding your guilt and forgiving yourself is a big deal. After all, without purifying yourself in your own eyes, it will be difficult to prove something to others. Restoring a "tarnished" reputation is a very complicated process and requires, first of all, complete confidence in yourself and your strengths, as well as honesty before yourself and before people who have hopes for you. Unfortunately, the classic recipe for recovering a lost reputation does not exist. Each individual case requires a personal approach. However, there are some unshakable points that can become a reliable point of support.
Not in vain above it was about honesty. It is this quality that is the source of trust, on which, in turn, builds a reputation. Everything is quite simple: you can’t have a worthy reputation if you are not trusted. And a sweet lie, instead of the bitter truth, is by no means from this opera (although in the position of some public people this has already become the norm).
First of all, we need to show others what we came to during the independent debriefing. Those. confess his misconduct, apologize, apologize. No excuses, kicks aside, etc. are needed. It will look like shifting responsibility and inability to answer for one’s actions. The apologies must be justified, with clear explanations, with possible options for overcoming the current situation, or even a statement of the actions already taken, and, of course, with a sincere promise to continue to avoid such oversights.
The next step is to increase responsibility. Yeah, now for your person, willy-nilly, there will be increased attention, and with a certain degree of caution. From now on, your mind must be ahead of the action by several steps in order to prevent a certain situation that can make you doubt.
The return should increase. By the way, this is most often perceived, both by the guilty party and by the host, as a way to cajole, appease, suck, in the end. Therefore, you need to feel the measure, behave as usual, not exaggerate the desire to prove your faultlessness, but calmly show your true face, trustworthy.
Perhaps these are the main components of the foundation of reputation laundering. The remaining steps depend on the sphere in which you were “lucky” to stumble, and the extent of the oversight allowed. But be that as it may, with a reasonable approach, a way out can be found from any situation. However, restoration of tarnished reputation - unpleasant and very troublesome business. Therefore, it is better to initially think with the brain, calculate strength and take care of your unsullied honest name.
Churakova Olga (Ljuljak) specially for the magazine Krasul.